I tend to have a lot of problems with my family, and we somewhat recently got into a fight that ended up very badly. I know by inviting me to Christmas dinner, they are trying to reach out to me, and make amends. However, I have a plethora of other activities I could go to that would be a lot more fun. How do I break it to them that I’m not going without hurting their feelings (too badly)? I’m not ruling out lying.
Fun or not, your family is trying to re-connect. miss this and it may be a long time before you connect again. As someone who is separated from part of her family for such a situation, let me tell you – you will eventually regret it.
GO TO FAMILY DINNER. let them know that you do not want to discuss whatever it is that is problematic and center the conversation on those items that are not. there is plenty of time for the other activities but only one christmas dinner a year.
Even though you’re having problems with your family, you should still go. Even if it’s just to stop by and wish them ‘Merry Christmas.’ They are still your family and you owe them at least that.
To get out of staying for dinner, you can explain that this Christmas, you’d like to go somewhere else because you haven’t seen ‘those people’ in awhile and owe it to them since you ate dinner with them last year.
Good luck!!
You should go to the Christmas dinner! If I were you I’d be going, cause I don’t have proper Christmas dinners with my family, heck, we don’t even have dinner together at the same time either.
=)
Their your family, being with your family is what its all about on Christmas. You should at least go for a little, make an apperance so they see you really do care.
Make some plans with friends that aren’t busy or maybe just go see a movie instead.
Just say exactly that.. I want to avoid problems and I have a plethora of other activities I could go to that would be a lot more fun.
Don’t lie.
& If you’re tempted into that,
Well,
Since it’s Jesus’s birthday He might be a little hurt.
Just tell them your not comfortable sitting there since they fight.
And if they’re feelings are hurt, don’t take any food but sit there and work up a good conversation with them. When dinner’s done, each of you sit down and have some coffee, tea, or hot cocoa.
Christmas is a time for giving, so give them your love.
I used to be in the same situation because I am somewhat different than my birth family…nothing weird,I just don’t have much in common with them. I just make it clear that I prefer to spend my Holidays in my own fashion and that does not include family gatherings…anyone’s family.If they are upset,then that is on them and not me,so I have no guilt about declining the invitations.
Tell them you have to do some shopping.
OR
Tell them you’ll be back in time for dinner and then “accidently” forget about it.
Tell them pleasantly but firmly that you have already made arrangements with friends for Christmas day but that you will pop in and visit them over the weekend.
say you are getting the flu and do not stop colfing
Honestly, you can ALWAYS have fun at other times. Even though you have a lot of problems with your family. They are still your family and I think that you should at least try to make amends with them, especially during the holiday and even more so because they are reaching out to you. Family is important, even if there are bad times, there can also be good, like right now!
If you don’t go to the dinner, it may just make things worse, do you REALLY want that? Sorry, not going to help create a lie for you. I think having a dinner with your family is far more important!
Go with your family. They are special and no matter how much you fight they are your family and are always there for you. If their trying to apologize you might as well go and let them. The only way you can not hurt their feelings is by eating dinner with them.
Your no different. everyone feels the same. grin and bare it cuz we ALL have to go. The same thing happens at everyone elses family get togathers.
A couple Christmas’s ago, I found a really old Hershey’s kiss in my great grandmother’s old couch. I ate it, thinking it wasn’t so old (yea I know that wasn’t the best idea) but I got out of Christmas dinner. If you don’t have an old Hershey’s kiss, you should make a bunch of hotdogs and eat them with lots and lots of ketchup. It WILL make you sick.
EDIT: I still had to go, I was sick as a dog, but I was asleep up in my mom’s bed. AND I was sick through Christmas. But it was totally worth it not to see my mother-in-law
Lying only comes back to haunt you. I’m a mom, so looking at it from my view, it’s Christmas Day, don’t hurt ur folks feelings. Go to the dinner and then tell them you have plans that were made ages ago. Good Luck
Don’t even try to get out of it go to your family for dinner stay until the dinner is over and then say you have to go .You are making a big mistake by not going here are people trying to end whatever dispute you had , you do not have to discuss the subject just act normal and everyone else will too. Christmas next year is a long way away who knows what changes will take place .Never ever miss an opportunity to get back in touch with your family whatever happened at the end of the day they are the only people you can really say will be there for you .Go on get your hide to that dinner and make your family happy and you may even surprise yourself , you might never get the opportunity again so don’t live with any regrets that you don”t have to. Merry Christmas ho ! ho ! ho !
Go ahead and go.